Oddly-Named Chocolate Items

The extreme chocolate phenomenon is rife with oddly-named chocolate items. Here are a few we thought you'd appreciate. Well…maybe.

As we've tried to make clear in previous articles, chocolate extremism can take many forms: you've got your super-expensive chocolate candy dusted with edible gold, your unusual chocolate recipes, your weird chocolate news -- and let's add oddly-named chocolate items.

Sometimes the latter really are quite odd, with such -- ahem -- original names that you might not even want to touch them with a 3.28-meter pole (that's a 10-foot pole for us traditional Americans). By way of example, consider these unusual articles -- some edible, some not.

Inedible samplings

Here's one of our favorite oddly-named chocolate flavored items, and by golly, that name's a mouthful: Cheeky Chimp Milk Chocolate Truffle Lip Balm. For about six bucks, you can get some lip-smacking-good lip balm in a truffle-shaped container. Twist off the golden truffle top, and the goodies are inside.

According to the manufacturers, this is chocolate for the lips, not the hips. With the funky name and catchy catchphrase, CCMCTB, as we fondly call it, is sure to be a hit. We're not so sure about this next item, though.

While not an oddly-named chocolate item per se, and certainly not an edible one, we couldn't pass up this tidbit. March 2008 saw the online debut of a so-called kiddy cartoon character named Feecal the Chocolate Starfish, who lives in an undersea land called Tuna Town with her pal Woody the Horny Seahorse. Yep.

Not only does this not have anything to do with the rock band Limp Bizkit, apparently, the creator insists that there's nothing at all potty related or adult oriented about the concept -- even if he did have a bit of fun with the names. Um...whatever you say, pal.

Edible options...supposedly!

Now, let's get back to chocolate's traditional roots as the world's favorite food. Fair warning: For some reason, many of the more oddly-named chocolates refer to...well, bodily parts and functions that aren't spoken about in polite company. We'll try to handle these examples delicately, but you know, there's only so much we can do to soften the blow.

One such, which is especially popular in Japan, is simply the result of language differences: Asse Chocolate. As you might guess, the Japanese don't pronounce it the way we would; nor does it mean to them what it does to us. But there's one type of chocolate candy that's deliberately disgusting, and it's made in America.

You've heard of chocolate turtles? Well, these are chocolate "turdles." The aptly-named Chocka Ca Ca comes wrapped in a miniature baby diaper (no, we are NOT making this up). Yummy! There's no hiding the fact that the purveyors of this particular oddly-named chocolate are going for the gross-out.


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