How Does Chocolate Salami Sound Right About Now?

Chocolate salami isn't quite what it sounds like, but it still tastes pretty good.

You know, we wouldn't put it past some crazed chef to develop a chocolate salami that's actually made of chocolate-flavored meat, and wouldn't that be something to write home about? However, as far as we know no one has gone quite that far yet, the operative word being "yet."

Three words, after all: chocolate-covered bacon. That's been a reality for years now. There are candy bars and everything.

Moving Right Along...

Be that as it may, there's an honest to goodness "salami" cioccolato dessert, an Italian dish that includes no actual animal products. Of course, you can always grind up some chocolate bunnies for the raw material. They're pretty unappealing after you eat the ears anyway.

Or not.

Basically, this choco-salami is a riff on the classic chocolate log. It's not quite the same, as you'll see, since it has its own special touches. You're unlikely to find one in the local candy store, so you'll have to make one yourself... or finagle someone else to do it for you.

The Recipe

A quick note before you get started: the classic recipe for this tasty treat, which is traditionally prepared during the Easter season, uses raw egg as a binder. However, given that this is a no-cook recipe, you may find that unappealing. Honey makes a good substitute.

So why didn't the Italians use honey in the first place? Well, don't ask me. Maybe they like raw eggs. With no further ado, here is yon recipe.

Ingredients:

½ cup of honey OR 2 eggs
½ cup of melted butter
½ cup of granulated sugar
½ cup of powdered sugar
1 cup of cocoa powder
7 ounces of finely crushed dry, light cookies (vanilla wafers work great)
Dried fruit or nuts to taste (optional)
A large sheet of waxed paper

Mix everything EXCEPT the powdered sugar together in a big bowl, stirring in the crushed cookies last. Work it together until it's thoroughly mixed, then transfer the concoction onto a large, well-greased sheet of waxed paper.

Next, shape it into a log about two inches thick and 12-14 inches long, and wrap it tightly in the waxed paper. Refrigerate the salami for three hours, then take it out, unwrap it, and roll it in the powdered sugar. Then slice it and eat up!

Mmmm...

And that, my friends, is the chocolate version of the classic Italian salami. Not as extreme as it sounds initially, but delicious nonetheless.

Now, we've got an inkling that some mad genius will eventually create a meatier version, so we're going to keep an eye out... and if they do, we'll be sure to report on it. Otherwise, we may have to invent a genuine chocolate salami ourselves!

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