Can You Handle a Vegetarian Chocolate Beet Cake?

If you can bake a tasty chocolate onion cake or a chocolate sauerkraut cake (and you can), why not a chocolate beet cake? Well, why not indeed?

You've gotta wonder what was going through the mind of the inventor of the chocolate beet cake. On the one hand, here's everyone's favorite food; on the other, there's that stuff they tried to pass off as red crinkle-cut French fries back in grade school. Um, could you find two food items less similar?

So maybe you haven't had the best experiences ever with beets (we sure haven't), but when it comes to food, everything -- even dark red, sugary root vegetables -- deserves a second chance. Except maybe celery, but that's grist for another article.

Beet this! (Sorry, couldn't resist)

So...a chocolate beet cake? Are we serious? Well, look at it this way: after offering up such delicacies as xocolatl, bacon-chocolate, chocolate martinis, chocolate sauerkraut cake, and even chocolate onion cake, why would we falter at mere beets? Are we not extreme here?

Why yes. Yes we are. So in the spirit of adventure, we're going to show you how to mix chocolate and beets into a delectable cake. But why bother, you ask? Because it's there! And not only does it end up tasting pretty darn good, it's an ideal treat for the vegetarians and vegans in your life.

The Recipe

Here's how to create the vegetarian chocolate beet cake of a lifetime. Please note that no animals were harmed during the development of this recipe. A lot of plants, sure, but no animals.

1 can of cooked beets
1 can of applesauce
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar
1 cup of whole wheat flour
1/2 cup of white flour
1/2 cup of cocoa
1 cup of sugar
2 teaspoons of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon

The first step in your chocolate beet cake adventure is to puree your beets in a blender or food processor with a quarter-cup of water. Pour the resulting mess into a large measuring container and add enough of the applesauce to bring the total to two cups. Then mix in the vanilla extract and apple cider.

Now, mix all the other ingredients together; then fold in the beet mixture and mix it all thoroughly. Once the batter's ready, bake it in a pre-greased 9X13 pan at 325 degrees for 35-60 minutes, or until it passes the toothpick test. (If you don't know what the toothpick test is, you haven't been cooking long enough).

Allow the cake to cool before serving. The icing you use with the cake (if any) is your choice, and we leave that as an exercise for the student. But if you want to stick to the vegetarian theme, we understand that the chocolate beet cake's natural complement is a nice banana-peanut butter sauce.