A New Use for Our Favorite Food: Chocolate Massage Oil

Are you extreme enough to try chocolate massage oil?

While we prefer to eat our chocolate rather than slather it on our bodies (we're a little old-fashioned that way), chocolate massage oil does sound intriguing - and it's certainly an extreme way to put chocolate to use. The only disappointing thing, really, is that it doesn't taste so good. But hey, ya can't have everything!

Well, why not?

One thing that we can definitely say about massage oil made with chocolate - rich, creamy, dark chocolate, mmmmm - is that it's decadent. After all, dark chocolate itself is decadent, so what could be more decadent than smearing chocolate on your skin? Except it doesn't work that way, quite.

In addition to the cacao, chocolate massage oil is generally compounded from various vegetable and fruit oils: cold-pressed grape seed oil, almond oil, and extra-virgin olive oil are mixed into the very best varieties. This means that it's 100% organic and edible, but the flavors don't really go well together.

And why should they? This is chocolate for your outsides, not your insides! Both the chocolate and the oils are high in fatty materials called lipids, and they're great for moisturizing the skin. Add in the sensual feel of a good massage, and you've got a recipe for relaxation and happiness, choco-style.

So what goes well with chocolate massage oil?

Given that most chocolate massage oils contain dark chocolate, we recommend nibbling on a more edible form of just that, perhaps one with a high cocoa content and, maybe, cocoa nibs or finely-chopped nuts. The bittersweet flavor offers a fine counterpart to the sensations of the massage.

But don't deny yourself the pleasures of milk chocolate, if that's what trips your trigger. Just don't wiggle too much in enjoyment, or the masseuse might get irritated and take your chocolate away (the horror!)

A little something extra!

If you really want to get extreme, and you have someone to, ahem, play with, you might try chocolate body paints in addition to your chocolate massage oil. By all accounts, it's fun to play with and can add some pizzazz to an intimate relationship... because it's edible. Yep.

And that's as far as we're going with that, except to say that this stuff takes the term "Dessert's on me!" to an extreme.

Since it's an intimate item, you can usually find chocolate body paint in the same places (on or off the 'Net) as you can other body oils, massage-oriented or otherwise. It'll usually set you back about $16-20 for about eight ounces, making it just a bit more expensive than your favorite chocolate massage oil.