A Chocolate Monopoly

Back in 1978, a genius invented a solid chocolate Monopoly game. The modern version's less lush, but it's still fun.

Imagine a world where only one power held a chocolate monopoly over our heads, like some pointy Damoclean cocoa bean. They could charge what they wanted for it. They could hold entire nations hostage. They could rule the world!

Thank goodness that doesn't exist, so imagine instead the only real Chocolate Monopoly out there: a delicious version of the classic board game, in which Marvin Gardens and Boardwalk -- indeed, all the property cards -- are made of deep, rich, imminently-edible chocolate. If you get bored you can always scarf down the occasional property, though that might make it difficult to add the chocolate hotels and collect your rent.

The Hat, The Shoe, and The Little Dog Too

It's real, and it all started in 1978, when the ritzy department store chain Neiman-Marcus offered a $600 solid chocolate Monopoly game (board and all) to browsers of their annual Christmas catalog. No one really thought there would be many takers, but it turned out to be one of their most popular items that year!

Six big ones is a little much for most of us, but fortunately for the rest of the chocolate-speaking world, there's a slimmer version you can get for less than 30 bucks. It's the M&M's Monopoly version featuring classic M&M ads, and it's cheaper than the original because it's not all chocolate; the board's the same old heavy printed cardboard we're used to.

(I suppose you could eat that if you got desperate, but only if it had a nice, thick milk chocolate coating.)

All's Fair

My understanding is that in some circles, young men use the Chocolate Monopoly set as a make-out tool to snare unsuspecting girls. Knowing how a love of chocolate is hardwired into the female genome, I happen to see this as a completely unfair stratagem in the War on Romance. So I plan to use it myself next time I set off into the trenches.

If you, too, bleed chocolate and would like to make a Chocolate Monopoly set your own, just click on this Chocolate Monopoly link.

Fair warning: Make sure you have a good supply of chocolate around when you play Chocolate Monopoly -- you'll need it!

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